A couple of years ago when Aunt Marj had to go into the hospital from the assisted living center, it was certain that she would die any day. Family members began making preparations, a funeral program was outlined, and an obituary was prepared. Then she rallied and became almost strong enough to go back into assisted living. With that, all the preparations were laid aside … and the obituary was lost.

When she passed away last Thursday, we began a search for the obituary that was written a couple of years ago. I’m sure now that we don’t need it anymore, it’ll surface! Meanwhile, I was tasked with creating an obituary to be put in the Salt Lake Tribune and the Deseret News to be run both Saturday, July 18th and Sunday, July 19th. The scan at the left is what ran in the newspapers. Clicking of the image will bring up some additional information. Clicking again on the image will bring up a full-sized view, as is the case with all the pictures in the blog entry.

After I submitted the obituary to the newspaper, and finished making up the program (images of the program are on the left), Nina and I went over to Soda Springs to see mother and dad. While we were there, I saw that mother had a copy of Aunt Marj’s birth certificate. Further, the surname of the birth certificate was spelled “Gillett” with no ‘e’ at the end. That was the way Grandfather Gillett spelled his name. My grandmother (who died ten days before I was born) didn’t like that spelling and she always spelled it the French way with an ‘e’ at the end. So, some of their children have birth certificates with an ‘e’ and a couple have no ‘e’, including Aunt Marj. Interestingly enough, throughout her life she spelled her surname “Gillette”, including on her social security card and drivers license.

Aunt Marj had also left a set of instructions, particularly things she did not want to happen. They were things like “closed casket” and “no funeral service, graveside only.” She also included a couple of musts such as playing “Clair de lune” at her graveside service, burying her with the ashes of her beloved cat Sam, and no ending ‘e’ on her surname on the grave marker. Since funerals are for the living and not for the dead, we left out the “don’ts” and are trying to honor the “do’s”.

In planning the funeral service we thought it would be a good idea to have some time for anyone present to express their thoughts about Aunt Marj. Several did so. It was very touching and gave all who wanted the ability to be part of the program. My brother-in-law Phil (Eileen’s husband) was the last and I very impressed by what he had to say. Phil went to see Aunt Marj often at the nursing home over the past couple of years. He took her on rides, talked with her for hours on end, and they just became very good friends. Phil will really miss visiting with Aunt Marj, I think. He is one of those unsung real heroes.

One of the big questions was how many people would attend the funeral and would we be able to find six pall bearers without having to reuse people on the program. That turned out to be no problem. We had people volunteering to be pall bearers and the family was well represented.

Aunt Marj never married, although she was engaged a few times, one of which was rather serious when she called it off. She was well known and well liked in the family and a lot of people quickly made arrangements to be able to attend her funeral.

My favorite brother gave a beautiful family prayer. The life sketch / eulogy done by Merrill and Jean was delightful. John gave a masterful talk. Heather played Clair de lune as perfectly as possible. Kathy and Judy preformed a moving rendition of In the Garden. I’m certain that Aunt Marj was very pleased with the thoughts and actions of this day.