When I went to my doctor couple of months ago for a followup visit to get some prescription refills, he strongly suggested once again that I get a colonoscopy. Knowing that I probably had put this procedure off too long, I consented and made an appointment. The procedure was scheduled for this morning at 7:45 a.m. I wanted to get it over with as early in the day as possible.

The dread about a colonoscopy was mostly driven by my experience with a sigmoidoscopy that I had done about six or seven years ago when we were living in Colorado Springs. The bowel prep for that procedure was absolutely miserable and lasted for several months afterwards until my hemorrhoids were reasonably healed. The doctor assured me that this time I would not have any problems with the colonoscopy. Nevertheless, I was definitely not looking forward to the procedure.

It turns out the good doctor was right. The bowel preparation was straightforward and my hemorrhoids probably don’t have a clue that it happened. Here’s the sequence I went through leading up to the procedure this morning and the procedure itself (at least what I remember of it).

Starting on Tuesday, 27 November 2007, only clear liquids could be taken for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Nina stocked up at the grocery store with white grape juice, apple juice, cream soda, and water. There was plenty to drink and I didn’t really feel like I was hungry until after the procedure this morning.

At 8:00 a.m. on Tuesday morning, I took four bisacodyl tablets. These were to “loosen the stool” and were supposed to take about six hours to be effective. In my case it was four hours and then one urgent bowel movement. It felt like everything emptied at that time … but no cramps or other side effects.

At 3:30 p.m. I took one Reglan 10mg tablet. This drug is used to treat nausea and I suppose it was in preparation of the two-hour procedure to follow.

At 4:00 p.m. I disolved a 225 gram bottle of Glycolax powder into two quarts of apple juice and drank the first 8 ounce glass of the solution. Every fifteen minutes I drank another 8 ounce glass. Glycolax is a prescription laxative, but seemed to be tasteless in the apple juice. By 6:30 I had finished the apple juice and had started making trips to the bathroom to void my bowel. They were urgent trips, but no cramps or other distress. There were lots of bowel sounds, but definitely no cramping and no forceful bowel movements. By 8 p.m. that was also pretty much finished. I had one more movement about 10 p.m. and woke up at 4:20 a.m. for my normal get – up – in – the – middle – of – the – night trip.

This morning I was to stop drinking anything by 5:45 a.m. That was no problem. I got up at 6:45 a.m., showered, and we were at the clinic by 7:45 a.m.

The preparation was finished and had been uneventful other than needing to be fairly close to a toilet from about 5 p.m. until 8 p.m. the night before.

The procedure itself was also unremarkable. I put on a hospital gown (that tied in the back, thanks to the help of the nurse). She started a saline IV drip and I laid down on a bed to wait.

About 8:30 they wheeled me into a small, fairly dark room where the doctor and a couple of nurses were waiting. They hooked up a blood pressure monitor, a blood oxygen sensor, and an EKG. The doctor asked how I was doing and had me roll over on my left side while one of the nurses fluffed up the pillow. The doctor asked if I was “ready for the happy juice?” I said I was and the next thing I knew he was helping me to roll onto my back while they were disconnecting everything. It was finished. He said that I had been there about twenty minutes.

I promptly went back to sleep and woke up in the same bed, but back in the small room where I had started. The nurse came in and said that I had been there about fifteen minutes. She checked my vital signs and took out the IV. I rested there for another ten minutes or so and she said I could get dressed. That was at about 9:15 a.m.

After getting dressed, the nurse met with Nina and me to go over what had occurred. The doctor had removed three small polyps out of the sigmoid portion of the colon. Those would be sent in for testing and they would send me a written report in about two weeks. She gave us a list of symptoms that, if they occurred, I was to call the clinic. She also said that I would have be passing a fair amount of gas from the air that had been put into the colon so the camera could see.

By the time we got home at about 10 a.m., I definitely needed to pass some gas! That was the only time I had any cramps. A half-hour later even that was finished.

I did a lot of procrastinating and worrying for nothing. All of the folklore around the pain and discomfort of a colonoscopy is just that … folklore.